Tag Archives: newsom

The Timeless Fog

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And it’s that quiet force,

a rhythm that pulses through the crickets and insects,

which blankets and cradles me in a silence so profound

it sends a hush deep down into what must be my soul.

Now I feel a relief, a release, a letting go

a relaxing of the muscles of my mind,

and I want to dive under, inside and surrender,

I want to relinquish control, hand over the reins to this utter Presence.

I want to arrive so intently

that I burst through the walls of my mentally-conceived reality

into the timelessness of the fog,

the dew-dressed spider-web,

the rippling, cold, brackish water,

the stone that sits, and sits and sits

wearing a shawl of yellow-green seaweed wrapped around its silent shoulders.

And I want to sit, and sit, and sit

and I want to be

until I simply am.

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Reflecting on Choices

It’s a gray, windy day here in Austin.

I’ve been brewing over the past, the future and wrestling the present moment into a bear hug, desperate to stay grounded.

I have been thinking about what happened in Playa del Carmen after I discovered I was pregnant.

We all make choices, and then we live with those choices.

What I experienced in Playa del Carmen after discovering I am pregnant, was a rollercoaster of emotions.

I found myself reflecting on the series of choices that led me to the moment where I was sitting on the beach in the dark with Addison, listening to the waves and watching their white crests glint against the moonlight.

I had chosen to leave Addison, and to ride my bicycle to Brazil.

I chose to ride from Austin, leaving Brazil for last.

I didn’t just go straight to Brazil, because I wanted to follow the line I had started when I left Vermont on a bicycle 3 years ago.

If I had known I would only be gone for 3 months, yes, I would have gone straight to Brazil.

But I didn’t know that.

When you tell your life partner that you’re leaving them for 6-9 months and you don’t know when you’ll be back, naturally they must make adjustments of their own.

The trajectory of our lives had been splitting apart, and this child seemed to have appeared to make us reconsider everything.

In a way, it should have been relieving.

Being pregnant would mean I could go home. It could mean I wouldn’t lose Addison.

And it could mean many many other things.

Those many other things washed over me as I sat in the sand with Addison.

What about capoeira?

What about our music careers?

What about making it all the way to Brazil?

What about the book I was going to write once I finished my 9 month journey?

I imagine many new parents experience these kinds feelings.

New life bringing a sense of death to their old life.

But never once have I heard a parent tell me that they regretted having kids.

I am so fascinated by old people. People who have been through all of this and more. People whose children are already grown, and whose grandchildren have already been born.

When I see an old lady, I stare at her, study her, think about what she might be thinking about, how it might be to be her.

Her hands are wrinkled and covered with blue veins and dots, her face is sagging and her hair is thin. But her eyes are the same color as when she was 16.

She has lived–far longer than I have–with her choices.

She had dreams too. She hoped for things.

When she was young, she imagined her life to look a certain way, imagined the great things she would accomplish.

She fell in love, she broke hearts, she had her heart broken.

Maybe she tried to become a concert pianist, but it was too hard. Maybe her parents couldn’t afford the lessons. Maybe she lost interest when she got older because than she wanted to be the lead singer of a rock band.

Maybe she wanted to travel around the world.

Maybe she wanted to be a school teacher.

A poet.

A dancer.

Most likely she wanted to be loved, respected, admired.

Maybe some of these things happened. Maybe none of them did. Maybe they happened in broken bits and pieces.

But by the time she is in her 70s or 80s, how much of it really matters to her anymore?

Or does it haunt her?

I hear Tom Waits’ voice drift through my head at this moment:

“What does it matter, a dream of love or a dream of lies?

We’re all gonna be in the same place when we die.

Your spirit don’t leave knowing

Your face or your name

The wind in your bones is all that remains.

And we’re all gonna be just dirt in the ground.”

dirt in the ground

 

Thanks for reading. Don’t want these posts to be too long, so I’m practicing keeping them a bit shorter. I have the next part mostly written and I’ll share it soon!

 

Capoeira synchronisity in action

A month before I left on my bicycle trip from Austin to Brazil, I decided to write to Mestre Acordeon.

According to wikipedia, ‘Mestre Acordeon is a native of Salvador, Bahia, Brazil, and a master of the Brazilian folk art known as Capoeira. His international reputation as a respected teacher, performer, musician, organizer, and author is built upon fifty years of active practice, as well as research into the origins, traditions, political connotations, and contemporary trends of Capoeira. Mestre Acordeon has travelled extensively promoting Capoeira outside Brazil.’

The reason I wanted to talk to him, was because 2 years ago, at the age of 70, Mestre Acordeon rode his bicycle from Berkeley, CA to Bahia, Brazil.

A week after I had written to him (and almost forgotten about it), I received a phone call with a Northern California area code.

“Hello?” I answered, expecting to hear the voice of an old Northern Cali friend.

“Ah… em… hello…” came the voice of a man with an accent. “How do you say your name?”

“Oh!” I replied, wondering who it was. “My name is Jahnavi.”

“Ahhh, Jahnavi. Hello, this is Mestre Acordeon.”

I stopped pacing through my apartment and went to my room and shut the door.

“Hello! Thank you for calling!”

We chatted for a while, and I told him that I wanted to ride my bicycle to Brazil also, and asked him about his trip.

“The voyage for me was truly magical,” he told me. “I encourage you to do the trip. It changed my life.”

He put me in contact with Pirata, one of the capoeiristas who had done the whole ride with him and who is currently writing a book about it.

“If you have any questions, you can call me anytime,” he told me.

Well, needless to say, that made my day… well, my week, really.

And as we all know, a month later I saddled up and left Austin on my bicycle, headed south.2015-12-18 11.45.02

I’ve made it halfway across Mexico at this point.

I’ve trained with Capoeira Longe Do Mar in San Luis Potosi, Queretaro, and now Mexico City.

I arrived in Mexico City with my friend Monica on Saturday.

That night I found Nao Veio, a professor at Longe Do Mar, and am staying at his house with his wife Nana.

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The next morning I received a Facebook message from the Longe Do Mar academy.

(it was in spanish, but I’ll tell you in english):

“Hello, welcome to Mexico City. Mestre Acordeon is here today and tomorrow and he would like to meet you.”

Apparently Mestre Acordeon visits Mexico City once a year, and I happen to have arrived during the two days he is in town.

That evening Nao Veio took me by subway to the Mestre’s house where Acordeon is staying.

After waiting outside and chatting with some capoeiristas, I was ushered in to meet the Santa Claus of capoeira.12657163_10153504344052545_7902883189447074677_o

Acordeon had just finished a meeting with the director of his documentary (the documentary about his ride from Berkeley to Bahia).

He welcomed me in, embraced me, and we immediately dove into talking about my journey and his journey.

He scribbled on a piece of paper, showing me how I could get from Panama to Brazil, and eventually demanded that I sit down next to him so we could get to the nitty gritty.

He showed me sample clips of the unreleased documentary, and shared stories, switching seamlessly between portuguese and english as though he barely noticed they are different languages.

I soaked it in. His energy is amazing.

I felt a resurgence of confidence in my voyage.

This journey is bigger than me, I thought, as I watched some footage from his ride. I can’t even imagine who I’ll be at the end of this, because it’s so huge.

One thing I know for sure, is that every single capoeirista who I’ve met along this ride so far will never forget me (nor I them) and they will be rooting me on through every step of the way.

And even if I go back to live in Austin, I will have homes away from home across all of the South Americas.

Mestre Acordeon could have chatted all night, and I would have happily sat there through all of it, but finally it was time for everyone to go home and go to bed.12698763_10153676316031773_1743453459_o

He hugged me close and wished me the best of luck on my trip.

I am so thankful for synchronisity and the constant reminder that I need only ‘jump and the net shall appear’.

I can’t plan out every day of this trip, I can only continue to move forward and continue to seek out capoeira and higher guidance as I travel south.

Riding Through 8 (or 9) Countries — You can come too! :)

I have some exciting news that I wanted to share with you!

It’s about Addison and I finally setting up a place at Patreon.com where you can join me on my adventures…

Patreon is an online community which supports artists on a monthly or by project basis.

It’s a way that you can be a sponsor of your favorite artist by donating as little as 1 dollar a month!

I’m thankful for this community, because now I have a way to be a patron for other artists as well as receiving support for my own projects.

Thanks to Addison’s unswerving attention to creating this page and video with me, I now have my own Patreon account!

Hooray!

Click here to watch the video, etc:

https://www.patreon.com/jahnavi?ty=hScreen shot 2015-12-15 at 11.27.07 AM

L.A. to Brazil… (on a bicycle??)

So you may have heard that I am about to leave on an adventure with my bicycle…

…and I’m headed to Brazil of all places…

If you’re wondering how in the hell I’m planning on doing it, just watch this video…

(I don’t know how helpful it will be in answering your questions, but at least we get to look at this cool map book together!) 😉